i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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