Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
