Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my being single is dangerous.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
