her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
