did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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