Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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