You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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