Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
