Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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