Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
