I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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