sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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