Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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