Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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