She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
