She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
