What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish you could order shots online.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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