Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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