Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
