coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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