ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
