He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Randomize
