i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
