idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
