Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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