Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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