but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
