Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
