Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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