PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
