I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
