hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
