Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
