Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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