I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Still dying that you shit outside
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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