totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
