Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
