So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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