she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
