im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
