Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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