After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
