You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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