Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
