i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
