I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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