I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
