I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
