loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
