Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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