you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
